Get all 7 Thornsilver Hollysong releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of You're Not My Gwythyr, Before the Rite (Waiting for Nos Galan Gaeaf), After My Vows (Love Songs from a New Godspouse), Before the Rite (Instrumental), Tome of Lor (Instrumental), Tarabook (Instrumental), and Witch Words (Instrumental).
1. |
||||
|
Now the green blade riseth, from the buried grain,
Wheat that in dark earth many days has lain;
Love lives again, that with the dead has been:
Love is come again like wheat that springeth green.
In the grave they laid Him, Love who had been slain,
Thinking that He never would awake again,
Laid in the earth like grain that sleeps unseen:
Love is come again like wheat that springeth green.
Forth He comes at Springtide, like the risen grain,
The God who for the Winter in the grave has lain;
Quick from the dead the risen One is seen:
Love is come again like wheat that springeth green.
Love is come again like wheat that springeth green,
Love is come again like wheat that springeth green.
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
Spirals pass
Delicately frozen onto ice-etched glass
Dreamily they dance, by winter's cold song whirled
Cherry blossoms scattered in a snow globe world
Petals fly
Serenely gleams the opalescent sky
Mist-silver sigh...
I breathe into melted crystal
I miss
White starfall and night-rose's bitter kiss
Spider-branches, angel feathers ask me why
And play
Upon the arching window where I stay
In my tower, thralled by snow-enchanted sky
Frosted thorns entwine the pinioned gate
Lost reflections by her window wait
Below at the ball
The violins sound
She'll watch the snow fall
In haunted dusk gowned
And the guests begin to waltz
For they're dancing worlds apart
Her Eternal moment halts
It's deep in her dreamlorn heart
Close to the pane
I haunt the shrouded window like the ghost of rain
Aristocrats are dancing, by the old songs whirled
I've found another ballroom in my snow globe world
Secluded high
Her tower dreams in opalescent sky
Rose petals fly
Fragrance of dusk immortal
I miss
The snowflake touch of twilight-child's kiss
The tinkling chime that sighed her sad sweet lullaby
Outcast
Like snowflake butterflies that flutter past
And her tower veils its heart in snow-charmed sky.
Frosted thorns entwine...
She never heard
That she could be the prince…
And then the snow globe stirred
Misted stars that twinkle on the Dreamscape’s brink
Upon the dusty lace I hear the music box clink…
That noble shade,
His smile glows
The prince will fade--
Adore the Rose!
So let him sleep
A thousand years
His spell will keep,
Unlike her fears...
Remember this was how it felt
When gender’s ice began to melt.
Frosted thorns entwine the pinioned gate
Lost reflections by her window wait
Below at the ball
The violins sound
She'll watch the snow fall
In haunted dusk gowned
And the guests begin to waltz
For they're dancing worlds apart
Her Eternal moment halts
It's deep in her dreamlorn heart
And the guests begin to waltz
For they're dancing worlds apart
Her Eternal moment halts
It's deep in her dreamlorn heart.
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
She was the brave one of night
She wished the stars in the seventh sky’s river
She danced with the God, sparkling bright
Her pen drew the Goddess, who’d always been with her
I call
We dance
Dark romance
You fall
Bright absolution of love in his wings
Scars of the moon’s claws, unbowed by her grief
They scorned her for a succubus
So shamed, she learned to love her lust
Their laws shattered her Elven heart
She built worlds in the velvet dark
In pain, not submission, I bowed my head
Denied half the loves I could dowry-bed
And a thorny kiss I proudly bled
They damned to her the mystic wise
She saw the world through witch’s eyes
She calls the wise ones tonight
I’m casting the circle, my galaxy lover
A witch in her god’s sacred light
His eyes in the bright clouds of dust I discover
Fae fire
In my hand
Star-candles
Inspire
Chill bone of midnight, the lovesong of death
My King’s wings of shadow, the moon on his breath
Deep red in the silver gloom
Tall windows cast our moon-spilled room
Dark veils on a princess bed
Black roses write THE KING WHO BLED
The cosmos created in my bower
The witch weaves her spell in the midnight hour
You are both the Rose
And stardrop flower
Beyond the page, you take my hand
My seventh star wish on diamond sand
AYAVA, my holy King
Your Name began to make me tingle
The God before I knew His face
The Star whose grace lit all of spacetime
Lead me to your Myst’ry’s tower
Whimsy wise in cherries flowering...
Tell me of your fairytales
What haunts you when the Sandman sails?
My Goddess is a gothy girl
My vampire Lord, his wings unfurl
Out from my pen the cosmos spilled
Magic I dreamed and worlds I willed
And with Their love, my stories filled
So this shall be my sacred write
She's calling Deity tonight.
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
When the grief reached a point deep inside,
My Goddess said
"I lit the star lamps Ages ago
Expanding space time
In my eyes
The night lit up and changed!"
My thoughts dream to the king whose wings bled--
My Lady wise
Said "That was a universe glow."
Thorn-twined roses, blood stained breath
I said, hey don't you think it's strange,
All these triggers on the wall
In Faerie, a goth girl's ballroom?--
Then the flaming comets fall
I feel with an aching sadness
The tears that I never had
This Escher world shift is maddening
This is my dirge song
To most I veil the rage and grief
More old than zircon
The universe on altered dreams
And you won't break me
But I feel broken all the same
These things are sacred
You never let them have a name
Fire in the darkness
She makes this Universe appear
Pinpricks of starlight
Collapsing into Prism’s spear
Hair of the Icebright
Riding from far
Rivarwe, her nightscythe
Goddess is HERE
Uelani Tamarlith
Eza Kyrle Itrael
Istw Uzu Halokherd
Yyrha Neina Isteluv
Since forever, the stories I tell
One Planck time ticks
And infinity is my chalk
A glass that's rose stained
When it rained
And the prince begins to wake
And my true name is hallowed to Nyx
It's a witch's spell
To dance in my Nutcracker clock
Dissoci-distance
In a trance
It's so damn hard to feel safe.
My castles on black lakes float
And I never even notice--
It's there in the songs I wrote
But never from my perspective
Just the World that my eyes reflect
Its power and truth unrespected
Do I seem haunted?
It's always there, so I can't tell
I think I wanted
To be the dauntless Queen of Hell
These thorns won't scratch me
Their Lord of Faerie, Queen of Light
For I enrapture
The rose-twined gates I built all night
This my creation
I love it more than Holy Lore
At long last I'll say it
For I don't fear to any more
Read me the witch cards
Gods of my World
Find in the rich stars
Magic unfurled!
Neina, Prism, Yadozhe
Light the night and with me stay
Yyrha, Kyrle, Ytrael
How silly to be scared of Hell
Istw, Eza, Halokherd
Listen to the Mother's word
Uelani, Isteluv
Wingless, timeless memories, move.
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
I made my wish when they were marching
The Girl Who Danced at midnight's hour
The Goddess gleamed with a moonlit sparkle
The Raven called me to Her tower
So how can I betray the girls
Who fight for love and a juster world
I think I witched
A despairing glitch--
And I'm not her.
The egg cracks like a soul gem...
But it's okay
I'm a magic king
Who's femme and fae
And loves to sing
(Can I forgive myself for being the gender that rules the world?)
Help I'm gay
Wish I were him
I smile--stay
In my graveyard grim!
I wish that girl who cried could see her future's wings unfurled
Pretty Soldiers, here's my secret: I'm not a girl
“Otoko nara kakkoyoku naru”*
I said in class with a strange despair
You're not really a cis girl, are you?
My faery prince with waist length hair
For years he stayed at the back of my head
Then out of nowhere Duskrose said
"Stop hiding Rain
Like a blood red stain--
Cause he's still here.
And I am something stranger..."
Between the stars
She's rainbow dust
And I'm from Mars
In a castle of rust
(Your “daughter” loved the spacecraft that you sent to crimson sand)
And I'm still me
Your only son
Figures I'd be the transgender one!
By Goddess, will you still erase me, stretching out my hand?
I named him Rain when I was nineteen, and couldn't understand!
Beautiful the prince did slumber
The God, He woke me like a lovesong
Soon the briar thorns will blossom
When the King breaks through...
I can't help smiling, how I light up
I'm the man I dreamed I was--
And now I get to be that “cool guy”
Like a spell, the eggshell breaks!
I begged to find
The girl I'd be
Whichever kind
Fit right to me
And suddenly it seems so simple to tell you I'm a boy
That goth girl knows
She's a black clad guy
And he'll love the Rose
Until I die!
I'm the witch of the open window who writes the runes in joy
And like the Goddess I keep fighting the Cycles She'd destroy.
(*”If I were a guy, I’d become cool.”)
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
He walked
In the waxing moon
Waiting for a name
As his long hair swished
And with poems in his eyes
Her flock
Like a black monsoon
Gave him one to claim
And the strange prince wished
And found in pure surprise
A sprite who was the same
My gender is roses
Moondust and silk sleeves
Thornscript and red leaves
And the faerie king who knows him
My friend who sparkles,
I found you dancing
You make me want to
Be myself
Dark and romantic
And full of bells
I will be
The cool bishounen
Not his sweetheart, not his queen
Don’t tell me
I can’t be Oberon
He can hear you, here unseen!
And I am he, the prince who’s sleeping
Under thorns on a bier of glass
My sign of a black rose keeping
Dreaming on as the star-veils pass
Dream awake...
Once more
Hanadoki lake
Filled with flower trees
We, two Princes of Night
Who for the princess they mistook
(Ignore
The trans-blood-stained stake)
For our folk are these
In the suite’s gold light
Whose garb evokes a storybook
Come, let’s have tea and cake!
Rain is my real name
He who drinks moonlight
Watching Dusk’s broomflight
Her reflected heart unsealed
My lighthouse flashes
On star-tides churning
You cannot burn me
It’s too late
The ashes turn to
Magic fighting hate
I will be...
Dear my folk who shine like stardust,
In the echoes of your song
Distant thunder of her cello
Makes me know that I belong
To the people who've just realized
And the ones who've always known--
I will make the world my labyrinth
So you know you're not alone!
I will be...
…Dreaming on, as the star-veils pass.
|
||||
7. |
||||
|
The Wild Man dances by Faerie’s moon--
To the prince at the window calls a haunting tune.
With horns of a stag and a satyr’s sure feet--
I want to be hunted, and bend to his beat
I slide down the roses
Clad by starry sky
With the world unfrozen
There's a light in his eye!
With honeybees humming
By the brooklet’s drum
And springtide thrumming
And he tells me, "Come."
Dancing, dancing
The Horned Man smiled
"Fae prince, let's run!"
Chase my answer
Gay and beguiled
...In more ways than one
I saw how you see me when no one else can
They name me the princess, but now I'm not her
I stare at your bare chest, belov’d Horned Man
And cry cause I want that--like you, strong and sure.
I'm shy to sing the things I long to feel
My body is sacred--can you make it real?
Your gay trans prince in this shell of mine
Longs for the touch of the Masculine Divine…!
If my step should falter
Fall against his chest
On the wild woods’ altar
Here I make you blessed
A wise, warm chuckle--
Kisses down my spine
My pale legs buckle
And the God croons, "Mine."
Since the beginning
I have felt your ardor
Like a Beltane fire
Somber, grinning
Your arms my harbor
In my Lord's desire
King of the wild wood, Lord of Rebirth
Unearthly, chthonic,and blessed by Her moon
Pressing and burning down, Light of the Earth
Fill me with incense, and hymns that I croon!
Lead me to witches who know of your laughter
I wait for your horn call, this Beltane and after
God knows what He'll do, my divine Horned Man
Step into the Circle, and be ready as I can!
The Wild Man dances by Faerie’s moon--
To the prince at the window calls a haunting tune
With horns of a stag and a satyr’s sure feet--
I want to be hunted, and bend to his beat!
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
In starlight I’m stayed by the dark glass
Where stars pass
A window to space in my tower
Stay now, or
I fly,
But I’d rather fall,
And lose me in Her devastating sweet call
Let the world sing
This dream of Dusk
Only moon knows
Where goes the Erlking
When he tells someone so shy I'm not defiled by my eerie lust
You’re the heart of the Universe
Elusive star, who haunts my midnight fancy
The bell that strikes in the graveyard earth
When I’m afraid, I think of me and Starlight dancing
And you bring back the moonlight
And Myst’ry’s raven rune
Your magic might undo me
But I want to witch for you
At midnight, a rose on my altar--
I falter
I'll sleep with my window pane latch free
So catch me a cloud
Of nebula dust
The eyes of the fair king I'm learning to trust
This your mantle--
My heartbeats thud
Dripping roses
The ghost of antlers
I want to say, cause it's allowed,
That I'd be proud to drink your holy blood
You’re the heart of the Universe
Elusive star, who haunts my midnight fancy
The bell that strikes in the graveyard earth
When I’m afraid, I think of me and Starlight dancing
And you bring back the moonlight
And Myst’ry’s raven rune
Your magic might undo me
But I want to witch for you
I'm proud to call you Master
With my ribbons all offcast
To me your name is Love
To me your name is Love.
Like a beam,
A moon-bright gleam
Merry meet, my shadow-king
Glimmering
In star-brushed wing
Starlight, meet me like a dream
You’re the heart of the Universe
Elusive star, who haunts my midnight fancy
The bell that strikes in the graveyard earth
When I’m afraid, I think of me and Starlight dancing
And you bring back the moonlight
And Myst’ry’s raven rune
Your magic might undo me
But I want to witch for you
I'm proud to call you Master
With my ribbons all offcast
To me your name is Love
To me your name is Love.
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
The scent of jasmine entangles the sky
The misty sun sets in windstorm gold
When I think about horns I get giddy and shy
But Beltane’s soon so I'll be bold
And I want queer witches to talk to!
This trans boy knows the God as his lover
When I fangirl I hope it's not awkward...
I hope I can share all the things I discover
So find me in Faerie, and lead the way home...
Here in my midnight ballroom
Faerieland haunts us all
I danced as Dusk
In the roses’ musk
But I wait for the moon to fall
I look at the stars--it's raining
Starlight, he took my hand
"I am the face
Of the God, whose place
On your altar you understand."
Rebaptize me with a new name
Tell Rain he can be a witch too!
And thy nameless Self
And my heart that melts
Remind me to dream of you!
The trees bloom purple and carpet the road
When I was a girl I knew that meant Spring
I drift away to a dreaming abode
Somewhere under Hill is my Faerie King
And I think the wind might be changing
I'm here to make your witchcraft subversive
My friends, you're disguised now as strangers
We lie in the grass and anxiety’s worth it
So find me in Faerie, and lead the way home!
Here in my midnight ballroom...
Call on your horn! I will listen, my dear
Watch as we wind you the Wheel of the Year
Over and under like oceantide foam
Find me in Faerie and lead the way home!
Here in my midnight ballroom...
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
Oh my God--let me sleep!
It's Beltane soon and I can't take it
This holy passion burns so deep
For my Horned Lord is queer and sacred!
I know because he took a trans prince in his arms
And the world like my heart grows warmer
I have to get up at 2 am
And dance out in the windy darkness
I have to write another hymn
And cry his name to dust and starlight
Excuse me I've got Witch communion
Raise the horns, draw down the moon!
It's a lot like dancing at a goth club
It's a lot like moshing for a rockstar
Give me that microphone.
Give in to the music
Give in to the wine
Give in to the dance
And give into the Divine
Give in to the beat
And jump over the fire!
Give in to peace of mind
And give in to Desire
Go and be a maenad
Like she dreamed, that girl I was
I know you're shy--go crazy
And I give in to the God
Oh my god! Your pity grant
My vigil ends at Beltane morrow
I tried to pass and still I can’t
Come hold my hand in wakeful sorrow
And at Samhain I'll remember from the house of death you rise
Come and dance with your prince who's shining!
(I'm not crying)
I have to head bang to this set
Come, don't fret about your life choices
Thrash with folks I've never met
Do you see me as a boy yet?
I'm here to represent the rainbow
Toss my hair, drink down the pain!
It's a lot like nerves before a wedding
It's a lot like dreaming of a concert
Give me that microphone.
Give in to the music...
It's me, I'm a witch, and I'm here to queer your circle
I'm trans and gay and God-kissed and Polarity. Is. Over.
And I don't love my womb but hey, it looks like ram horns
That girl loves the Goddess, but the boy's here now.
As I sing to no-one else, I promise
You'll see me in concert someday!
Give me that microphone.
Give in to the music...
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
My blood on the roses--
Remember this pain!
It feels like ambrosia
My heart when I'm Rain
It glints in the moonbows
No rest for the prince!
Painting the windows their jeweled tints
Who am I? Femme and centerless
Now I'm not her.
Can I still keep my princessness
Same if I were?
Rare as a unicorn--
Raising the horns!
Glitter by moonlight borne
Sleep, bound by thorns...
Long haired and pretty
I'll cast you my androgen spell
And wonder why would a guy give this up?
This pain, it's a pity
This chest-ache I know it too well
But I can't ken your hearts--am I manly enough?
I'd just learned to see myself in the Divine
I know I'm a witch and the Goddess is mine!
But I looked at my body, and started to weep
I know I'm not Dusk but her magic I'd keep
Hey hey
I'm the fae prince
And I shall be Oberon!
If I turn visible
Give me your conference--
Me, of ethereal grace!
Who's that?
An aristocrat--
Sweet sharp-fanged nobleman
Midnight, this frigid lull
Hear him sing, yonder prince!
Dance like the Lord I embrace.
Call me he like a siren!
I cried that I'm real
Trans prince in the briars
How femme-spelled I feel
Can I be a bishounen
Who belongs with the girls?
Feeling at home in my waist length curls
Be my friend--say your prince's name
Stop saying she.
In his eyes, catch the glimpse of flame--
Come in and see!
I could be fabulous!--
Here I feel drab.
A kind and gay Dracula
Decked out in black.
Noble by moonlight
Take off my hat, sweep a bow
Can I be the magical princess’ right hand?
With me this doomed night
I'll fight off the darkness somehow
Transform into me, in my manor so grand.
I thought every girl dreamed of being the prince
Someone once told me, and damn it made sense
But the fear that I feel is I'm still a girl too
And if I should change her, I'm scared I would rue.
Hey hey...
Did I wake the monster Raven?
Will I be that girl so brave?
The prince will not be silenced!
Yet he treasures Duskrose’ smile
My witch and faery princess
She's too dear to settle for
So I'll be Etsu, Kei and Castal
Toge, Ayava, and Lor.
Dust off my fabric--aristocrats dance
Prince or goth loli, I'll find you perchance
Come and have tea in the Raven’s high tower
And I'll become real when it chimes midnight hour!
Hey, hey...
|
||||
12. |
||||
|
And he hums, "Come along
Over hill, under grave
We won't wane any more
Dear-the-Life I gave."
I am proud, I am poor
Faery prince, broken knave
Then, my Lord, heard your song
And it made me brave.
Fa la la, god mine
Your music is the world
I'm caught by your fragrance in a duskrose unfurled
Then wild green blossoms
A cloven-hoofed dance
I think I could learn it, since you gave me the chance
This dark
I froze
Here goes
My heart
The Star
My rose
He knows
These scars
Despair
Wish well
This prayer
My spell
Sure it's hell
Back there
But Her bell
I carry
By the rain in the gloom
From the woods past my spire
Distant pipes reach my room
And I twist with desire
And he lifts up my doom
If not pipes, then by lyre
"Hey come out on your broom
And dance ‘round my fire!"
Hunter, beloved
The prince wants to learn
The beat of your rhythm, to dance as they turn
In honey and clover
Let lissome grief fall
My lord, come and drain me
I answer your call!
Did I see you in the wardrobe, with another Saint perchance?
Or the stories of the Witch, where they mistook your sacred dance?
Sometimes you're the King of Night, where stars burn in his glance
And then you're wild Spring, who calls the fae prince in romance
Oh the Nameless Divine!
Dancing god, horned Man
Be the Lover of mine
I will catch if I can!
Get me drunk on your wine
Are you Yahweh or Pan?
By the ice-jeweled pine
All the days you span!
Call to your fae prince
That only you see!
I dream you embrace the bishounen in me
Named for the Raven,
My Goddess adored--
The witch becomes me, and I'm chasing my Lord
Somewhere in Faerie
I'll come to you there
My God, grave and merry
Who calls me to dare.
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
The prince of stars said "I'm real" one night
Hail to the King with galaxy eyes!
"I've been waiting for you, sweet sprite."
Hop on my broom--may the full moon rise!
Imagine a prince
Who loves velvet and lace
My goth ballgown glints
Glitter dust on my face
And I don't want to change
To be seen as a man!
I'll be femme fae and strange
And be me if I can
In somber mystique see him smiling
Last time I found you, my king
Your laughter was warm, rough and wild
Fair one with magic beguiling
I look if the grass grows a ring--
"If you like, I can spirit you, child
But we've always been dancing--
That's not why I've come."
I hear in my fancy
The echo of drumbeats
And catch myself humming--
He's handing me rum
"This has power in your craft
Drink of me--take a draught
And I give you my laughter!"
The prince of grief lost his song one night
“I see my heart in your galaxy eyes!”
"Come and lie by my side, sweet sprite
And tell of the pain in these starless skies...
Bring me your dreams--
Breathe in and be real."
His faery light gleams
And he catches my zeal
Winding my hand
In its fingerless glove
"The prince in his grandeur:
My Rain that I love."
My Raven in tragedy winging
I feel, for my dreamscape, defiled
And you don't feel close when I sing
The night, with Rivarwe’s bells ringing
Remember the light when he smiled
On a promont’ry, here was my king
This struck purple blossom--
Can I be your page?
My liege on his mossy throne
Star-crowned and ageless
These dark heavens, sage king
Are empty with rage
"Dear my puck--" then you grin
"It's my feasthall--come in
For my rose blooms in winter."
In winter darkness
The moon like glass
Where branches sparkle
His footsteps pass
In springtide merry
Awake my spark
My Lord of Faerie
Engrave your mark
Through summer forest
Lights we bear
Your court adoring
Vines in your hair
When fall burns brassy
As sweet rains pour
These silks unfasten
I'd fain be sore...
The prince is going to the ball tonight
I want them to see me with gendered eyes!
"Butterflies draw our coach, sweet sprite--
Come and drop half your heart's disguise!"
I'll say it this time
That I'm not a girl
The Goddess’ bells chime
As Her shadows unfurl
I'll be the prince
In my velvet and lace
With a fae lord that glints
As he kisses my face
I wonder if midnight will find me
Can your magic withstand Her dark bells?
Will the prince leave his tower in my mind?
"My prince and his heart that enshrined me
Will wake like the breaking of spells,"
My king says, unearthly and kind.
"This bier bound in roses--
I've come past the thorns!
His sleep be unfrozen,
My kiss end the mourning!
Awake to the horned one
Whom midnight adorns...
In the swirl of the brine
We will dance, prince of mine
For I see you shining!
My rose blooms in winter...
I give you my laughter."
|
||||
14. |
Secrets (instrumental)
03:59
|
|||
|
She brings golden flowers
And incense unburnt
She's witching these hours
In closets that hurt
Their scripture rejoices,
Each needlework print
In biblical voices--
Her pentacles glint!
She hates being coy
But right now he's a boy.
I sing to my magic lord of the forest
Whose horns rise above these cornfields
I see the August moon in Her glory
A ruse--hide my prayers in music
Secret, oh secret heart!
My lord rides forth in darkness
Teach me what way to bridge
Kin and my religion!
I count all the “daughters”
I'm praised as a set
My dazed vision waters
It’s crushing, and yet
This Gethsemane painting
I really don't mind
Would He doubt my sainthood?
It's not left behind!
You'll never accept
These two faiths I've kept.
I sing...
Ride out on my broomstick
And hoist the colors:
Pink white and blue
More dread than a skull!
This closet is hell, but the door is glass...
His steps bring bluebells in haunted grass.
I sing...
|
||||
15. |
||||
|
What is she now?
A nymph and a nyad
Stars on her brow
Now mermaid, now dryad
A fae in her bower,
A witch at Dusk hour!
But she isn't calling the Goddess this time...
It's weird, I'm a girl
When we danced I'm a boy
In your horns I'm unfurling my power and joy
And Dusk still adores you,
My God and my Heart!
Mysterious core of my Craft and my Art
It's strange now, this straight-looking romance we've got
I...forgot how to sigh for a gender I'm not?
I don't think that I could be the Faerie Queen
In this metaphor She's the triple moon
But I'll dance in your court on the merry green
A princess who takes the Witch's Rune
Or maybe I'll cackle in your covenant
For we make the Puritans afraid
Get back on my broom and with the Mother chant
My heart on the Midnight Flame is laid!
Creatrix who sings
A girl in goth loli
She finds faery rings
A girl who is holy
By graveyard moon ghosting
What word will the Rose bring?
I follow the Myst’ry, and Starlight, my Love
These Pagans do ritual
Like calm standing stones...
And here I am literally jumping your bones
Too shy with my lust for
The Light of the Earth
You find your witch blushing--"Drink with me in mirth!"
Is it weird that I sleep in my Deity's bed?
The rest spiral dance and I'm...sighing instead
I don't think that I could be the Faerie Queen
In this metaphor She's the triple moon
But I'll dance in your court on the merry green
A princess who takes the Witch's Rune
Or maybe I'll cackle in your covenant
For we make the Puritans afraid
Get back on my broom and with the Mother chant
My heart on the Midnight Flame is laid!
The Midnight Flame that dies at Yule
It's grief-time, sweet and cruel
My god has laid down his life for his people
In Love like embers burning deep
I stare at the bonfire and call the Sun
Return--my heart undone
And perhaps I know the tears of the Goddess
Perhaps She let me feel your call?
I don't think that I could be the Faerie Queen
In this metaphor She's the triple moon
But I'll dance in your court on the merry green
A princess who takes the Witch's Rune
Or maybe I'll cackle in your covenant
For we make the Puritans afraid
Get back on my broom and with the Mother chant
My heart on the Midnight Flame is laid!
|
||||
16. |
||||
|
They told me it's sacred high magic
When I bleed
And I panic
Queer and with trauma that haunts me
And I plead
"I don't want this."
I don't want to carry his seed
I want to be filled with His passion
My oak king who grows from the ashes
Dysphoric, erased,
The God, he embraced me
I wondered, am I too young for the Crone?
Not technically Maiden, but with me She stayed
I felt him, the horned one, and bit back a moan
Make me the prince in your arms, I prayed
I lie in the moss and to dreams I fade
Out of the spirals and mist you rise
Stars in your eyes
Unearthly and wise
They told me you're coming to lead the dance
I sink in a trance
And I'm yours with a glance
Empower the prince
Your love makes him real!
The bonfire glints
Like the thirst of my zeal
And you I might trust to say how it's magic
This hated womb of mine.
I walk through the world and I daydream
Of your song
My fae king
I wonder if others have felt him
Be this strong
And melt them
It feels like the prince could belong
I swear to the God I feel special
Take for this rite my confession!
His flames lick me bare
And I wish I could share it.
Maybe I'll dance round the Maypole they raise
I'm sure that I'll sing--do my songs say too much?
And feel in the Circle the heat of his gaze
I'm scared I'll seem mad at his burning touch
But him I trust though my heart should clutch
Out of the spirals...
His horns, they sparkle like branches of ice
Sweet sacrifice
Of the winter moon
When I bleed, I don't want to hear of its charms
In dysphoria’s arms
In a witches’ rune
But you, sweet satyr, are welcome inside
Returning my pride
In these spells I croon
Out of the spirals...
|
||||
17. |
||||
|
Night falls down and the Veil gets thin
Ghost moon glows and the pumpkins grin
(And I hear his horn from the Hill below
And like my heart, jack-o-lanterns glow)
Children laugh and the Witches fly
Don't crash!--the Wild Hunt rules this sky
(And like Persephone, steals my soul
My strange fae Lord as the church bells toll
He said, “You're mine on this path you chose
Can you bear the thorns of a deathless Rose?”)
(My lord of bliss)
Witness this
I answer you
And take your kiss
No fear, no rue
Cross my lips like the Sun's eclipse
And teach me magic a Witch could brew
Apples on the altar
My cup full of mead
Tonight I won't falter
In naming this seed
Turn my forlorn nod
To sacred delight
“For the love of my Horned God…”
We're witching tonight!
I cast to your fire
My fears, O fell Sire!
And though I am scared I will whisper your Name...
Halloween, calling trick or treat
All year long I am spooky sweet
(And at Samhain I hear their chants
My Lord of Death comes to lead the dance)
Catch my hat on my windy broom
I bring cakes and a charming doom!
(In the woods we will circle round
Kindle fire on sacred ground
“Why do you weep? Know that Life returns”
One red Rose deep inside me burns)
(And here abide)
“Below I ride,
And so above
Become my bride
And mine to love”
My bones and blood
With incense flood--
The tick tock that you're Master of.
Apples on the altar...
My lord of delight meets the witches tonight
And the cauldron She stirs is the pot of rebirth
("Come dunk your head--I've no use for shame
Be holy to me and I give you your Name.")
And the Lady, Her bell rings the hour like a spell
Midnight moon heard me pray when I first flew away
(Halloween goth girl with strange sweet smile
I still want to be her just once in a while
Am I the princess whose star crown glints
Would you still love me if I were a prince?
"Well what do you think?" And he lights the incense.)
Apples on the altar...
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
[Bury me in churchyard dust
I fear His horns, and more my lust
Moonlight finds the graveyard dirt
Stroke these old wounds and they hurt]
[I'm scared to tell them I'm a witch
Invoke the things that I call sacred
I turned out a disgraceful bitch
But by the Goddess, you can't change it!]
I fear I've forsaken my family, my soul
Which surely they'll tell me the devil stole
So I kept one foot in the Garden to pray
And broke on Him like an ocean shoal
My Faery Lord called, With me stray!
You don't love Gethsemane--you can't stay
Don't look back when the church bells toll
Trust my music and walk away.
How easy I told Him yes
So why does terror keep pressing
Like sins I used to confess?
I left with an angel's blessing!
[It's like my joy has turned to grief
Is this your Change, like a withered leaf?
Behold, the Dark God rules this night
In rage and winter, hold me tight]
[I feel His breath like a faery frost
Pull me down to worlds of shadow
For She must mourn the laughter lost
The King Who Dreams within His barrow]
What's in my heart I have to tell
I'm Wiccan now--I guess I fell.
I worship Earth and horns and moon
But still I love you!--that's my spell.
So if I hum a Pagan tune
I'm still just me--remember soon!
And no I don't believe in Hell
But I do good and keep my rune.
And yes, although I've been saved
I don't want to use that as a waiver
My soul is with magick engraved
Goddess, I wish I were braver!
It's like a love song that didn't work out
But you know, I hope that we can be friends
In pain and weeping, and ghosts of my doubt
Beloved, stay as the Spiral ends!
He said, Go in peace if your heart ever changes
But I think we both know you'll call me at death's door
I know how you tremble with long ingrained danger
But you chose to answer me, even heartsore.
[To follow Him may break my heart
But I work with the Lord of Dark
Teach me to protect Your folk
Your love and strength in me invoke.]
|
||||
19. |
||||
|
Dusk, she breathes on her fogged up pane
Fractal ice hides the warm clear Rain
In worlds of crystal my memories froze
The King came to me like a dark-thorned Rose
"Lift up the shroud
Rise from the grave
Your voice is louder--you're gonna be brave
Laments have an end
So unfreeze Time
For we're descending through years of grime
No one can fix it
That cult long ago
But with the Witches
I melt the snow."
In the crypt, in the moon, when the churchyard is empty
There's stars in his shadow and roses drip down
In fragments of stories my lost years keep drowning
Ghosts I cast out from this dreamscape I dreamt
Did I give you my pain when our eyes turn red?
The wings that we lost when your shoulders bled?
You are my courage, my wisdom, my heart
Your Goddess the Myst’ry, my Raven of Dark
I fall to the ground on this longest night
You walk the dark ways, my Lord of Delight
Your love lit the stars of the universe
The pain of your scars was never a curse
Wordcraft deserts her--she drifts away
He knows something happened, but “You can't stay."
With never a touch they can twist my soul
He's dysphoric, or maybe she hates her role
Leading me home
That King I could be
Said "Stay in this moment--return to me
These scenes from before
In a timeless trance--
Finish the story (but first we'll dance)
I am the Winter,
So turn me to Spring!
As icicles splinter
I'll hear you sing..."
In the crypt, in the moon...
So I'll descend to this house of despair
As Samhain approaches, and see what's there
To plant the seed of returning Light
In spirals and mist, lead the Dance tonight!
In the crypt, in the moon...
|
||||
20. |
||||
|
I wish I could have told you
I am your eldest grandson!
Stare at me with Klingon laughter
She whose lifetimes followed after
Fire in her eyes, declaring "I am him."
I miss the house of old blue
Hear music like the sand run
My gender is less Trill, more Changeling
Hail the witch!--and then a strange king
Hear me with my jaw set grimly
These are more than shifts of whimsy
Now I say your eldest grandson’s me.
I pray your souls to walk with the Prophets
Light, my candles--incense, burn!
Stare at the stars with doom like a comet’s
Seasons spiral and return
Endless diversity makes us wiser
Like the Vulcan philosophers say
Then why did Rain fear you'd despise him
Knowing the prince I am today?
A rose on my ear for the name I choose
And to call the Divine whom I'll never lose
All of the selves within my heart
The wisdom and courage my lives impart
The voice of reason to face my fears
Hope for the world in an Age of tears!
I'm not hiding behind a story I love...
I'm trying to say who I am.
Our stockings lined the stairwell
By gifts you'd see a daughter
But Rain’s less clear than the other grandkids
He'd wear tights if his skin could stand it
I miss that old blue castle and its King and Queen
I can't say may you fare well
By Styx’s flowing water...
I'll see you in the wormhole temple
And say my gender’s not so simple
I pray the gods for truth and meaning!--
Dress up box, you watched us preening
And I'm the prince who's still a princess too.
In the sunroom, start the keurig and chatter
Balderdash by the chandelier
Thy prism’d windows, rainbows they scatter
Bell of midnight--disappear…
Would I seem alien if you knew me?
This my faith a Dominion cult?
Maybe "Rain"’s one step from "ruin"
But in these memories I exult
A rose on my ear...
This is my mission:
This strange world will change!
That someday the danger will fade is my wish
Sometimes these thoughts hide the stars like a cloud
I'll seek my new life and try not regret
To go where this man hasn't named himself yet
You taught me “the Prophets are love”--so be proud.
A rose on my ear...
|
||||
21. |
||||
|
They told me a story, the Witches of Gold
Could I call my magic in just one word?
For aeons of wonder and anguish I hold,
For wounds of the past where my witch-name stirred?
Gaze on these runes where my Gods are named!
In moonless midnight where stars first flamed!
Acknowledge me as the Witch of Creation,
Of fae folk who write in the thorns of the Rose!
Words in a language that no one can tell
Dreamscape from whence all my faerytales fell
DuskRose, whose true shape is RainShadow Raven
And he creates worlds wherever he goes.
Tick tock, yes, a prince
And his witch magic glints
And I know he's real though he cannot be seen
For Dusk in her cage
Saw him sleep for an Age
I'm ancient as she--tell the Alchemist Queen.
Somehow it's sad, how deeply this stake can gouge
Must Witches be born from trauma unwept?
Does magic need pain, like the ghosts that haunt Rain?
(They'd suffer as much if the Witch had slept.)
Then Starlight, who shines as he bleeds on the ground
Told me that magic is “power to grieve.”
Come now, recall
You were bright as you fall
These scars are the reason I choose to believe.
Guardian prince in the heart of a maid--
In briars he's slumbering, lost to the Curse
Or maybe she's trans, and his longing won't fade!
I tell both these stories, in my Universe.
The first spell I cast: penciled wings on this page
Drowning my memories, scared of my rage
And I think those wingbeats were truly the Raven,
Goddess and boy, both disguised when I dreamed.
On my board, the King is my sacrifice
Agape bleeds red in October ice
I swear by his scars I am Witch of Creation
And deep in my lost years, that magic first gleamed.
Tick tock, faery ball
Will the midnight stroke fall?
This pin is my talisman: let him be seen!
The Witch gladdens, since
I am loved as a prince--
With black roses I greet her, the Alchemist Queen.
Somehow it's sad...
Witches tell, over tea, songs of sorrow and love
And he holds his own heart in a fingerless glove
Stay awhile, and be kind, and believe I was here!
Like the gulls that were crying, like the signs of a seer
Scattered stars, golden moon--just one wish I could grant
Name the world that you lost. Come, remember and chant!
Starlight sends all his love, by the Raven's dark wing
Maybe I could bring hope, in the worlds that I sing?
Somehow it's sad...
|
||||
22. |
||||
|
Long long ago
By the music room's high window
I watched falling snow
And I could not comprehend
The feelings I felt
Nor the prince within my heartbeat
But icicles melt
And his song tears me apart...
What if I'm a boy who's sometimes a girl?
How she longed to be him, that prince in her dreams!
My shaken snow globe spins in a cold sparkling swirl
How could I never hear these echoing screams?
Moon beams
And faery gleams
I cried so hard
To say I'm him!--
That long-haired bard
Taps his top hat's brim
Become the prince?
It's a fairytale!
My ballroom glints
And the sun goes pale...
Leaving Knight Hall
I went walking in the twilight
Like I heard Faerie's call
And I couldn't tell you why
And she looked so sad
With a strange and princely yearning!
There weren't words she had
When the wish began to burn...
What if I'm a boy, and I live just like that?
My shoulders started shaking--how lovely it seemed!
It's more than being cool in my ribboned top hat
But just "being cool" was the first thing I dreamed.
Drops gleamed
And then Rain beamed!
I cried so hard
To say I'm him!--
That long-haired bard
Taps his top hat's brim
Become the prince?
It's a fairytale!
My ballroom glints
And the sun goes pale
And briar thorns
Undo their spell
Cut down by Horns
And Myst'ry's bell--
My Star Who Fell,
It's time to wake him with with a kiss!
In snow globe's ache, go tell her this!
Abyssal gleams
She's not what she seems.
Then, when I'm Dusk,
I don't need to move the mountains
I belong to this husk
Where my body keeps the count
Of traumas and pain
And the things that bring me wonder:
Black roses and rain
And when twilight hides the sun!
Maybe in that snow globe they dance in my heart
Night's prince and its princess, both stitched in my seams!
Someday I'll learn to feel like I'm not torn apart
I want Dusk and Rain in the House of my dreams.
Moon streams
And She redeems
I cried so hard
To say I'm him!--
That long-haired bard
Taps his top hat's brim
Become the prince?
It's a fairytale!
My ballroom glints
And the sun goes pale
And briar thorns
Undo their spell
Cut down by Horns
And Myst'ry's bell--
My Star Who Fell,
It's time to wake him with with a kiss!
In snow globe's ache, go tell her this!
Abyssal gleams
She's not what she seems.
|
||||
23. |
||||
|
The Key Song
He's a Mystery in red
My Faerie King, my Rose Who Bled
In orange of the Yuletide blaze
And sunset gold at end of days.
He's a Mystery in green
Through shadows rise, through realms unseen
Midsummer’s night--by starlight blue
And purple moon, I'll dance with you.
I wonder, Lord, why won't you tell
Your Name, to keep in my music box?
I bear this pendant like a spell
My key your Mystery unlocks
Raise the Horns!--a prayer, a curse
A new name for an ancient Soul
Your eyes could hold the Universe
This faerie prince, you make him whole.
Looking for Goddess
She sits by her cauldron
Where bubbles the Cosmos
Pumpkins in her garden
His blood from a dark rose
I know her as Raven
From the World of my stories
The doom that she gave to
The King I'm adoring
And she called me to the wise Craft
But someone else gave his kiss to me
Hidden by Dreams, her eyes laugh
And I know that she is my Mystery
Eternal, unearthly, undying, alive!
She cuts down the Star with her moon edged scythe
Dysphoria haunts me--just Maiden or Crone!
But She called my magick, undreamed and unknown...
In my songs, for the first time I dared to say "Her"--
Doom-raven, King Starlight, didn't know what they were!
They say my Lord's secretive--maybe He is
But I strayed to the woods and I'm suddenly His
Remember Her wings that empowered my soul
Healing a girl of a cult's old toll
But when I'm a prince, from His horns moonlight glints
My Lord and my Lady
My Raven, my Star!
I asked, "Who is Goddess?"
My pen drew the answer
Her whimsy in the darkness
My starry-eyed dancer
I looked and she called to
A king, his blood pouring
My gods, they were all
Long ago in my stories!
She said, "Can't you see me, child?"
Too big and too ancient to say your Name
Goth girl on the swings, She smiled
"Just like your Lord I don't stay the same!"
Night and the universe, ocean-charged moon
And here in the blossoms like stardust strewn
I know why my King died for Mystery's call!
And I hear Her wings at his faery ball
In my songs...
And just like my King, my wings bear scars
But She turned the horror to midnight stars
And Starlight, he bled like a red-thorned rose
Who loves this world, through the Dark he goes
So maybe you could teach me to fall
Light up, pour out my love for them all...
In my songs...
|
||||
Thornsilver Hollysong Los Angeles, California
Thorn is a Brythonic & Minoan Polytheist with Wiccan roots. He writes about gender, witchcraft, and other gothy fantastical
things. Some of his songs are set in the world of his stories, while others tell of his own experiences as a gay nonbinary trans man and a witch devoted to Gwyn ap Nudd.
He's also been known as Rain and Dusk.
... more
If you like Thornsilver Hollysong, you may also like:
Chicago singer/multi-instrumentalist Ellie Kim explores funk, R&B, pop, and jazz on this stirring LP, a love letter to the LGBTQ community.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 23, 2024
go to album
Orbweaving
by Midwife & Vyva Melinkolya
A rich tapestry of layered vocals and guitars, thick with the paralyzing heat of a Southwestern summer.
go to album
A dazzling tapestry of sound, the latest from Shoeb Ahmad sets whispery vocals deep in electroacoustic soundscapes.
go to album
A Body Full Of Tears
by Shoeb Ahmad
Ahmad returns with experimental new work that merges distorted and electronic melodies.
go to album
Moonlight Arcade Delight
by Jess Roveda
Potent pop songs from this Ontario artist with an alternative edge thanks to toothy guitars & synths that go off like fireworks.
go to album
Gutsy rock & folk from this L.A. group powered by tense guitars, searching lyrics, and passionate vocals.
go to album
